I watched the 81st Academy Awards Sunday night and while I was mightily impressed by the brand spanking new and different Oscar show, fashionistas had a real letdown with some of the most boohoo boooooring gowns worn by some of Hollywood’s most enduring stars.

Slum dog kids
Hugh Jackman … do I have to say it? GORGEOUS, FABULOUS, SEXY. The changes in the show like the presentation of the major awards by former winners made it so much more personal and heartfelt. And I loved the sets and the feeling that the audience was part of the production. The dancing the singing … so different and just sensational. Hope they keep up the good work. And I don’t know how long it ran but it seemed much shorter.
OK, here they are — my Best and Worst Dressed for Oscar 81:

Amy Adams
Amy Adams … Carolina Herrera red fitted gown with a weird piece of fabric pulled up on the bodice for no apparent reason. Wha????

Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel … what the hell? It looked like she took the drapes from her bedroom and pulled them up inside her dress and draped it over the dress. Crying Out Loud.

Marion Cotillard
Marion Cotillard … the Dior dress was beautiful but again she had this tight patent leather looking belt cinching up the waist and ruining the entire effect of the dress.

Penelope Cruz
Penelope Cruz … Ok yes it looked a bit like a wedding gown but it was incredible. And the way it moved with her when she walked in it… beautiful.

Cyrus
Milley Cyrus … next time don’t ask for dad’s opinion. She looked for all the world like a mermaid in training with the tiered skirt. She looked great from the shoulders up though.

Davis
Viola Davis … warm, beautiful, striking in a halter gown belted under the breasts with the same fabric.

Henson
Taraji P. Henson … what is up with the middle initial? Never mind, she was STUNNING. I love Roberto Cavalli anything but this newbie looked good enough to eat … er you know what I mean. She is adorable and would have stolen the stage no matter what she was wearing. I can hardly wait to see her in something else (filmwise).

Grey
Jennifer Grey … lovely black Dolce & Gabbana but it looked a tiny bit ah … sssh tight? Still beautiful though.

Mary Hart
Mary Hart … ewwwew ewwwee and ewwww. Do not wear big Hawaiian florals to the Oscars please.

Hoffman
Philip Seymour Hoffman … ok what the heck was that thing on his head?

Hudgens
Vanessa Hudgens … I admit I don’t remember seeing her in any movies. She looked like a flock of birds came and landed on her chest as she came down the red carpet.

Jolie
Angelina Jolie … of course we can never criticize this woman. She will take an elegant knife from her evening bag and stab our eyes out. She was stunning in the perfect black dress by Elie Saab.

Klum
Heidi Klum … weird, very weird. Not only was the “architechural dress weird but the color was a strange color of pink. Still, you can only look at her husband Seal when they’re together because your eyes refuse to go elsewhere.

Lane
Diane Lane always looks ‘just right … goodish even.

Latifa
Queen Latifah … I love this woman but she obviously abandoned Jenny Craig for good reason but I’m just sayin’. Her dress looked like they ran out of fabric and had to fill in with jewelry.

Legend
John Legend always looks fabulous but his girlfriend Christine Telgen looked so elegant and understatededly beautiful … soft and stunning.

Madsen
Virginia Madsen’s one shoulder gown in fire engine red … gorgeous.

Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker in Dior … and she looked like she was getting married in a dress with a belt. One word … hideous.

Portman
Natalie Portman … doesn’t matter what she wears she looks like a beautiful Barbie doll – this year pretty in pink.

Roberts
Robin Roberts looked so healthy, fit and so surprisingly understated and elegant in J. Crew! Can you believe it? I’ve already started buying stock in this company.

Seyfrieda
Amanda Seyfried … was wrapped up to be presented to someone as a gift for the evening. And this is Valentino? Oh my.

Streep
Meryl Streep … what can you say? She has people, she’s a legend but one of these days everything is going to fall at once.

Tomei
Marissa Tomei … not my favorite but it was very striking on her. Very much star quality.

Winslet
Kate Winslet … I had to keep looking at the dress to see if I liked it because it changed so much in the lighting on stage. But the dress really was an incredible design by Atelier Yves Saint Laurent by Stefano Pilati. A stunning work of art. It doesn’t show here but the entire left side wascovered in the black lace you can partly see here.
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